Cyndaquil Says

After feeling the pressure of finding a job before my work contract needs, I got a hella good one and the people are so nice. It is in a computing department so I understand what each degree entails and how to help the department with IT.  I hopefully will have enough to move out  I can relax which is cool.  My life should begin to take hold and I can become more independent.  My new focus is to afford a home get back into the gym and get healthier. T he feeling of dread and job insecurity has vanished and I can be more carefree.  'Things are finally looking up, oh finally'. 

On a quiet Sunday, I got on a train and some "men"  were verbally abusing me,  they called me a blue-haired fat loser.   I told them "I’m not dealing with that" & moved carriage. It just was so scary, I genuinely thought they would do worse if I hadn’t stuck up for myself. Calling me fat was the catalyst.  They thankfully left the train early but taunted me and banged on the window till the train departed.  I don’t feel happy with my body to begin with. Food is now scary and I don't even want to look at it. I forced myself to eat my dinner. I can't let this ruin my perception of food but sadly, it already has.  I shouldn't get verbally abused for just sitting on a train, these 'men' are the real losers.  

As the pandemic disrupted everyone's lives, my first degree got moved to home working… halfway through the second term which screwed up the whole system as we had no lectures at that time. It was so unproductive for me as I had no clue what to do since nothing was prepared. But I left with a 1 st class Hons degree and assumed I was over education. But as things didn’t improve in the world, I returned to university for a second degree, and in term 2 I managed to get a full-time job. This was extremely hard and stressful as I had no free time. When I finished work, I had to go straight back into uni work. Sometimes I had to attend lectures and work at the same time, it was hard to stay productive and I finally got burnt out… Burnout made me procrastinate and just give up on all work, I stopped being organised and caring about myself, physically and mentally. It took at least two months to get back to normal. I was able to get my second degree passed in June and as it’s Augus...

  ++++First post of 2021++++   Lockdown number infinity woo   I have a week off uni, finally, thank you Jesus. I honestly have been spending my time on my phone and on social media. My screen time ranges from 8-9 hours then 4 hours of that is spent on Instagram. I am definitely addicted to that app. I mean I do have three accounts plus all I do is keep watching and reading posts. It is definitely not healthy but fun.   But, if I am not on Instagram, I am drawing for the rest of the day. My eyes definitely hate me for drawing 9 hours in one session and an hour break for food. Explains my skin breaking out and feeling tired all the time. I feel so relaxed after nearly breaking in trimester one. Oh boy.   * shameless plug = IG: @_blackrosedigitalart* drawing is free therapy for me.   Although, I need to get to my gaming backlog. I want to finish Valhalla and max out Tell Me Why. We shall see by Monday!   Then it is back t...

Second lockdown has begun                                                 All I do is uni work I never game                                                 Only work, never take breaks I keep having negative thoughts                                                    ...